The nation's top anti-drug official said people need to overcome their "reefer blindness" and see that illicit marijuana gardens are a terrorist threat to the public's health and safety, as well as to the environment.
Dear John Walters,
1. Please stop calling people terrorists when they are not, by definition, terrorists. Misusing and overusing words causes them to lose meaning, which is a shame when it comes to words like "life" and "love" and "freedom" and "peace" as well as words like "terrorist" and "infidel" and "jihad" and "crusade." Don't pervert words, it's what caused or at least kindled most of history's problems.
2. Nobody plants corn in national forests. Nobody would grow marijuana in a national forest if it were legal. You can holler about drugs all you want - I mean, you're the drug czar, I understand - but don't go hollerin' about the environment when it is in fact prohibition that causes the most environmental degradation via illegal growing, nasty lab chemicals, interdiction efforts, etc.
3. Perhaps you believe that guns kill people, or perhaps you're more of the mind that people kill people. Either way, whether it's guns or people or people with guns or the devil that kills people, marijuana doesn't kill people. You cannot poison someone with weed; you cannot fashion a cannabis plant into a lethal weapon (unless maybe you strangle someone with a hemp rope?). Sorry. People operating high up in the black market tend to have guns, and are often criminals drawn by profit and undaunted by risk. It's prohibition, and it's currently your fault.
4. Be consistent, will you? Are pot smokers "a-motivated" stinky irresponsible bums or highly organized terrorists? I'm confused.
5. Re: "reefer blindness", again with the "I know you are but what am I."
6. Honestly, this whole thing is way below the belt so I'm just gonna go ahead and say "Your mom was a terrorist last night if ya know what I mean ZING/HIYO!!1" Not so much to insult you or the saintly woman who brought you into this world as to demonstrate how your own medicine tastes. Anyway, I'm 19 and writing in a student policy blog, what's your excuse?
Now go write your own letter, except make it to the editor, and try not to make any your mom jokes (it's very tempting).