Thursday, August 31, 2006

Ganja brownies and a gat, Mr. Mayor?

You may be familiar with Dan Savage, especially if the word "Santorum" conjours up images of a frothy love mixture, rather than a distinguished U.S. Senator. (If it conjours images of both, you should probably go wash your brain out with soap.)

Well, Savage recently outdid himself. In response to an idiotic prohibitionist proposal by Seattle's mayor, Savage went into the lions den and came out laughing.
If the mayor's proposed regulations are adopted, club owners would be required to prevent patrons from carrying drugs into their place of business—prevent. Not attempt to prevent, not do their best to prevent, but prevent—period, full stop. If drugs are found on someone inside a club, the club would be shut down.

[snip]

Reading the proposed new regulations I wondered if the same rules applied at City Hall. The mayor was asking club owners to "prevent" people from entering nightclubs with drugs—okay, fine. But if the city expects a club owner to keep his place of business drug-free, surely we can expect the same of the mayor himself. So I decided to conduct a little experiment: I would attempt to enter City Hall with drugs. If I got inside, I would use drugs in City Hall. If I used drugs in City Hall, I would offer drugs to other people in City Hall.
And, yes, the crazy sonuvabitch pulled it off!
I offered pot cookies to everyone in the office.

"I have a bunch in my bag," I slurred. "Really good ones. Want one?"

They all laughed, but it was clear that they didn't doubt that I had drugs on me and in me. I was obviously stoned—lingering in Bichsel's doorway for what seemed like hours for no real reason, keeping up with the banter but a beat or two behind. I offered everyone pot cookies a second time. More laughs.
Now, of course, SSDP does not encourage folks to walk around a government building stoned out of their gourd carrying a box of contraband and a threatening-looking gun replica (yes, he brought in a fake gun too). Clearly, Mr. Savage's exploits probably would not have been nearly as successful had he not had a press pass and celebrity status.

Still... he makes a hilarious point.

Read more about his hijinx here.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

But you didn't violate the weapon rule because you only had the keys. Car keys by themselves probably don't hurt as many people as drugs. Unless you use them to snort coke or something.

It doesn't make sense without the car. Are you sure this is your favorite gag?

It would be funnier if you got pulled over and the officer asked if you had any weapons in the car and you said "my car is a weapon! Did you know that..."

But you'd get arrested for being a dork.